Something Borrowed ♥

Wow. It has been a while..

***

Last Saturday, I had a last minute movie date with Aps & Jen. I knew nothing about the movie except that it was originally a book. We were in for a ride. ;p

One of my favorite scenes. 1:47.

ethan: i get it. you're in a tough spot because you love him. but you gotta do something about it, rachel. because he's being a total coward and if he breaks your heart, i'm gonna take a swing at him and then i'm probably going to let him beat me up.

rachel: i gotta go to work, i'm late.

ethan: i know, rachel. that's the point. be late. better yet QUIT. at least there would be a decision. rachel, you're all going to hell anyway so you might as well do something for yourself. FOR ONCE.

BAM.

hey 2011!

If you want it, claim it. ♥ I wish you all love in 2011. ♥

meet autumn..

i bought myself an early christmas gift! a 32 gb ipod touch! it's the funnest ipod ever! i named her autumn. yep, i'm still sort of hung over 500 days of summer. i also had my first cup of Starbuck's Christmas Drinks for the season! a short dark cherry mocha. :) so yesterday felt a lot like christmas. :) these are two of my greatest loves, gadgets and coffee. i'm loving it. :)

i'm gonna be fine. :)

time flies, it's already november. mornings have started to get colder, and having to get up instead of sleeping for five more minutes (which could turn into an hour) has become a battle now more than ever. malls are now playing christmas songs, and makati CBD now has christmas decor. i can't feel it.. yet. maybe i have to get my hands on a starbucks christmas drink in a red cup to finally get it. :)

-*-

today, i watched MJ's this is it (for the second time). that was the original plan. but i ended up spending the day feeling nineteen again. :) i spent the day with my college friends, eating most of the time, taking pictures and well, laughing. i said i wanted my college days back, and for today at least i think i got one day back. :) days like today make me realize i'm gonna be just fine. fine with being single, and fine with life in general. it's not exactly a life changing thought, but it gives me hope that everything will eventually work out.. in time. i'm so grateful for my friends, and i thank KJ for them. if i wanted to feel nineteen again, i know that my friends are just a text/FB message/plurk away. :)

waiting for autumn..

i am shit scared of heights..

i am shit scared of closed spaces..

put them together, and you'd automatically think i'm shit scared of riding in elevators.

NO.

i live for elevator moments.. ;p just like this one:


i love elevator moments. i love having elevator moments. <3 *sigh*

i love (500) days of summer. it is now my new obsession. ;p the ending left me looking at my screen thinking 'WTF?!'. i was partially in pain, and then i began to realize it all made sense. i'll probably watch it again. and again. and again. :D

my ugly truth.. :(

two is better than one - boys like girls featuring taylor swift

i remember what you wore on the first day
you came into my life
& i thought hey, you know this could be something
cause everything you do & words you say
you know that it all takes my breath away
& i am left with nothing

so maybe it's true
that i can't live without you
maybe two is better than one
there's so much time
to figure out the rest of my life
& you've already got me coming undone
i'm thinking two is better than one

i remember every look upon your face
the way you roll your eyes
the way you taste
you make it hard for breathing
cause when i close my eyes and drift away
i think of you & everything's okay
i'm finally now believing

then maybe it's true
that i can't live without you
maybe two is better than one
there's so much time
to figure out the rest of my life
& you've already got me coming undone
i'm thinking two is better than one
(oh yeah)
i remember what you wore on the first day
you came into my life
& i thought hey

maybe it's true
that i can't live without you
maybe two is better than one
there's so much time
to figure out the rest of my life
& you've already got me coming undone
& i'm thinking
that i can't live without you
cause maybe two is better than one
but there's so much time
to figure out the rest of my life
but i've figured out
when all is said and done
two is better than one
two is better than one.

my silver lining..

last of the long weekends.. but, this is the only long weekend i spent mostly at home. i've been sick for a couple of weeks, and not having enough time to rest, well, took its toll on me and i never got better.. still kinda sick till now. i've a lot of things on my mind, i want to keep this entry short (or at least attempt to keep it short. i type.. and go on and on.. you get the idea.)

it's already nearing the end of september, the first of the BER months. as i was going through my old metrobank stuff here at home, i found a christmas decor which i always put on display as early as september 1. yeah, i know, i'm excited. but i was so depressed back then, i was always looking forward to something else other than work just so i can get by, one day at a time. i even got a couple of those holiday gift cards with the words "happy holidays!" or "maligayang pasko!" and taped them on my monitor, so that if things got toxic, i'd be taken to a happy place just by looking at something christmas-y. it worked. for most of the time.

guess what? i've yet to put anything christmas-y in my workstation. then it hit me. i'm not depressed anymore. thank you. :) christmas is coming a bit late to me this year, but it's all gonna be just fine. ;p

then..

i loved how he would order cheese pizza just for me..

light up my sky. ;p

**WARNING: before reading, i suggest you hold onto something, anything. kumapit ka.**

.

don’t tell me i didn’t warn you.. ok, ready?

.

my wedding phase mode is ON. ;p

.

ok, imma give you time to recover.. good? :)

.

so, i have a wedding phase. how ironic considering my love life is somewhat, err, dormant. but still, i love weddings! when i was a teenager, i hated weddings, having to dress up, with over the top hair and being overly made up. ugh. in my early twenties [omg, i did just type that right? early twenties. what a rude reality check. so i think my QLC mode is ON too.] , i still hated weddings for that one single event in the reception: the bouquet toss. but now, i've come to realize that the bouquet toss is not the event, its only a part of the main thing. plus, i've managed somehow, to skip almost every bouquet toss at every reception i've ever attended, sometimes intentionally. i'm not the girl who boxes out other girls for that bouquet. haha! i know it is tradition, and it is the couple's day, but i just don't want to participate in something i don't believe in. i gotta give credit though to couples who change it up a bit. my cousin did her bouquet toss using text messages. i just think that the bouquet toss is sort of discriminatory to single girls. [defensive much?!] i know it's supposed to be done for fun but i keep thinking if i was the unlucky one, i'd have huge reality checks all up in my face. not good for me, reality checks keep me up at night for weeks. i'm thinking of alternatives to this part of the reception.. maybe instead of single girls & guys participating in the bouquet and garter toss, why don't unmarried couples participate instead? ooohh.. pressure! hahaha!

so anyway, this entry isn't about the bouquet toss, i just found myself typing away. i recently attended my blockmate's wedding, prijm & karla's wedding. [congratulations dude!] i definitely envy their wedding date, august 8. i even asked prijm if i could copy that wedding date IF and WHEN. [really huge IF and WHEN. haha!] it was an awesome wedding! and here i am, contemplating the after effects..

as much as i love weddings, sometimes i dread it because it triggers love life issues into overdrive. as expected, a wave of uncertainties came upon me that same night. there is really nothing much i can do about where i am right now, haha, so i cope up with these things the only way i know how, by drowning myself more in it. my sort of sadistic tendencies take over. if i am heart broken, i listen to songs that would break my heart even more. if the green archers [yeah, i really just had to include them.haha!] lost by not making a valiant attempt to play the game, i still watch the replay. i don't avoid pain. i let it sink in. so.. i listened to wedding songs. :) as my luck would have it, richard poon just released a single entitled you and i. i loved it. and i love richard poon. *swoon*

you and i - richard poon

you and i have travelled far together
we've pursued our little star together
we are happy as we are together
we may never get to heaven
but it's heaven, at least to try

you and i are going on together
till the time we have is gone together
watch the evening drawing on together
growing older, growing closer
making memories that light the sky
that only time can make
that only love can make
that only we can make
you and i

you and i are going on together
till the time we have is gone together
watch the evening drawing on together
growing older, growing closer
making memories that light the sky
that only time can make
that only love can make
that only we can make
you and i

**credits to PixeleyesMedia for the video, i do not own the video, i just love it enough to want to share it. :) lyrics are not mine either, haha, check google.**

[i have been blabbering away.. i know.] i really love this song! i spent the entire day listening to it. on a technical note, the video is really good, very vivid and a must watch on HD. gahd. i love it. it's official. my wedding phase mode is ON. :P

shot straight through the heart >>--->

i am in love with the team everyone loves to hate. the more you hate them, the more i love them. yeah, i am generalizing a bit, i'm sure not everyone loves to hate the Green Archers, but, well, you get the idea. i am sleep deprived, i have yet to blog about the ADMU vs DLSU game last Sunday but that line is pretty much stuck in my head. still and always, always and forever, i bleed green. Keep the faith, ANIMO LA SALLE! >>--->

true love waits. :)

like i said, it’s an emotional roller coaster, so let me start with the highs. when i wanted to buy a new phone, i surfed the net, and posted here that i fell in love with the SE G900. so i figured, i wanted to get a DSLR for the longest time, might as well post my dream model here in hopes of eventually getting it. haven’t had time to blog lately, so i skipped that entire part and already bought one. i have a new baby and his name is Bruno. :) yep, i named him after a commercial model, haha. i call him B. when i first saw the Nikon D5000, i fell in love with it. and the first time i was able to hold one, it felt like we were meant to be. most girls fall in love with shoes or bags or clothes, (i’m not saying that i don’t.. haha!) but i fall in love harder with gadgets. i knew i had to have him – or it. i have been discouraged from making this purchase, but then, i just had to follow my heart. meet Bruno:

now that i have him, (i'm talking about him as if he's a person and not a thing.. :p) i have much to learn. the first time i brought him with me, i even brought the manual. haha!

why did i choose the Nikon D5000? there has been a long standing question as to which brand is better or even the best, is it a canon or a nikon? you can do all the research you want to, look it up on the internet, ask people who use different brands. they say that the best camera is the one you've got. i say go out there and actually hold the unit you want. if it feels right, then go for it. that's what i did. i fell in love with it. and i actually got it. :) never settle for second best.

you might want to take a bow now. it's over.

roll the credits - paula deanda

(Roll the credits)

Boy in the beginning
In the beginning it me and you
I was Bonnie, You were Clyde
We we were running
We were running for the end
We knew
(Before the credits)

But then in the middle
In the middle you went and changed the script
Took a pencil and erased my happy ending
Instead of loving you I feel so sick
(Roll the credits)

I know you directed it
I'm sure I produced a bit
So why's that chick stealing my show?

Baby, Tell me
Who is she?
I need to know her name and number
Tell me
Who does she hang out with
When you're not together
I ain't gonna do nothing crazy
I just need you to hear me
(Before the credits)

Roll the credits
And tell me
How many of your friends
You told all about it
They said "You're workin"
Last Friday night when I was calling
Did you lie to all of them, too?
Or was I just the fool?
(Well, roll the credits)

Roll the credits

You worked undercover
And gave her every single line I owned
And it doesn't make me feel any better
That you took her places we would go

I thought you were meant for me
My name should be on that screen
Tell me, why is that chick playing my roll?

Baby, Tell me
Who is she?
I need to know her name and number
Tell me
Who does she hang out with
When you're not together
I ain't gonna do nothing crazy
I just need you to hear me
(Before the credits)

Roll the credits
And tell me
How many of your friends
You told all about it
They said "You're workin"
Last Friday night when I was calling
Did you lie to all of them, too?
Or was I just the fool?
(Well, roll the credits)

Roll the credits

I know you directed it
I'm sure I produced a bit
I thought you were meant for me
My name should be on that screen
We weren't even at the end
But you started auditioning
And let somebody star in my show

Baby, Tell me
Who is she?
I need to know her name and number
Tell me
Who does she hang out with
When you're not together
I ain't gonna do nothing crazy
I just need you to hear me
(Before the credits)

Roll the credits
And tell me
How many of your friends
You told on about it
They said "You're workin"
Last Friday night when I was calling
Did you lie to all of them, too?
Or was I just the fool?
(Well, roll the credits)

Roll the credits
Roll the credits
(Roll the credits)
Roll the credits
Roll the credits

Roll the credits

pictures of you, pictures of me - the last goodnight

This is the clock upon the wall
This is the story of us all
This is the first sound of a newborn child,
Before he starts to crawl
This is the war that’s never won
This is a soldier and his gun
This is the mother waiting by the phone,
Praying for her son

(Chorus)
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

There is a drug that cures it all
Blocked by the governmental wall
We are the scientists inside the lab,
Just waiting for the call
This earthquake weather has got me shaking inside
I'm high up and dry

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be


Confess to me, every secret moment
Every stolen promise you believed
Confess to me, all that lies between us
All that lies between you and me

We are the boxers in the ring
We are the bells that never sing
There is a title we can't win no matter
How hard we might swing

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we could have been

movie: definitely, maybe.

i've watched parts of the movie definitely, maybe starring ryan reynolds and isla fisher over the past week. it was recommended to me by my friend, aps, and one of the movie's main characters is named april, and heck this is my first blog post for the month of april. :) i took advantage of the long weekend, hoping it would be shown on hbo again but it aired for the last time last sunday. so i panicked, and watched it online instead. (i know, bad!) of course, watching it took forever, and i slept at around 4:30 am, but so worth it.

i loved it. my favorite part was april and will meeting at a bar/restaurant and talking about the "real deal". (unfortunately, i can't find a clip for this one.)

will : you see, i don't want a fling. i want the real deal.
april: forget about the real deal. you don't find it, it finds you.
will : what does that mean? i don't know what that means.
april: it means that you get to a certain age and then you're ready. you know, you're ready for kids or commitment or you know, a mortgage, you know what i mean? and the person that you are with then becomes the one.
will : so you're saying it's not who, it's when?
april: exactly.

video below is my second favorite scene, a wedding proposal:

will you, um, marry me?
definitely.. maybe. ;p

happy new year!!

naman!

2008 was a bittersweet year for me. i've had several heartbreaks, including dlsu's season 71 loss, seriously, and my job. but there's no better way to end the year than to walk away from the things i cannot change, and so i did. this new year, i'll start with a clean slate. i even got a new haircut, a different style for the first time in probably eight years. for free, thank you very much! i'd say that's a good start. ;p

see you never. ;p

yesterday was officially my last day at work. it was supposed to be a holiday, but i had to give in (for the last time..) to another one of the bank's sadistic mandates and reported for work. we operated on offline mode and since transactions posted were validated for jan 2, 2009 (which is again, a holiday.), i didn't log in because i wouldn't be employed by then. :) i answered the phone for the most part of the day, a thing i always did anyway. that is surely one thing i wouldn't miss, having to answer phone calls that weren't mine, and with the phone constantly ringing, it almost felt like the handset was glued to my ear on some days.

anyway.. my official last day was something i have been looking forward to for the whole month of december. it was definitely one of the best days, ever, only because i wouldn't have to go back there as an employee ever again. :) my officemates would joke around and ask me if it was already time to cry, and i'd say, "of course not!" imagine a co-worker telling you this: "alam mo kahit ganyan ka, mami-miss kita." i took it offensively, wtf was that supposed to mean? if it was a joke, it was better left unsaid. i replied, "ganun?" and then walked out. haha! it just wasn't worth it. i know that they will remember me when they cannot (or won't) do the simplest of things (i mean as simple as looking for a client's phone number, the signature cards are there also for that purpose, haller..). imagine, would you miss this? i definitely wouldn't.



i spent the latter half of the month telling clients i resigned. after that statement, i prepared to answer the follow up question, "bakit?" i found it very entertaining how people reacted when i told them i resigned. the automatic assumption was that i had found work elsewhere, probably at another bank. a runner up assumed reason for my resignation was that i was going abroad. when i say that i'm not transferring or going abroad, they'd think i was resigning because i was getting married. ha? i had to laugh everytime i got asked this because i'm thinking, aren't you supposed to work harder if you're getting married? i mean unless you're marrying somebody insanely rich, but then again, a woman can get married and keep her career right? what are we, living in the olden days? to that, again, i'd say no. the best follow up question i got was "bakit, may naka-away ka ba?" haha! showbiz much? i don't think i ever really gave a straight up reason for my resignation. artista lang, i've intentionally avoided having to explain my decision for like the nth time. i do not have a new job elsewhere, for the simple reason that i couldn't even show up for interviews because i couldn't take a leave from work. i am not going abroad, i couldn't even bear to be away from home for more than a week. definitely, i am not getting married (hahaha, very funny!) my resignation letter indicates my reason for resignation was because i had to attend to personal family matters. yes, we have been planning to put up a business for quite some time now but haven't gotten around to actually doing that, and i want to help. could i have helped my family while still keeping my job? why yes, of course! do i still want to be sane? hell yes. so i let go of the thing that has been very very toxic to my system, my work. what about it, you ask? the work, is bearable. work is work. there were days when i'd go home and just have a good cry to let out the stress, but there were also days when it was petiks mode: ON. i just got tired of it. at any workplace, there is a system. if everybody does his or her part, then things would get done. i got tired of waiting for people to do their part and having to pick up their slack. i got tired of being taken for granted (and i don't ask for much). i had enough of not being able to make my own judgement calls, which is really frustrating, because from experience, somebody else would overrule it. what were the guidelines for, display? also, it wasn't really helpful that for questionable transactions or procedures, i had to call up another person from another branch to confirm what i already know or tell me what to do. i should've asked a superior but for the most part, i'd rather not. i learned what i know now not only because somebody taught me the fundamentals but mainly because i taught myself. i had to ask other people how things get done. i had to know almost by heart the things i learned at my mti training, which is probably the only training ever worth attending. i am not being ungrateful to the people who have been my mentors, but for somebody else to take credit for what i have become at work is very unacceptable. the things you learn at work, for work, should've been taught to you by somebody from work. the kiss of death sealed the deal. i had suffered full blown job burn out.

i have been bitter about my work for the longest time and i realize that i'm now only bitter on the surface, if there ever was such a thing. some people may love pain, love the feeling of being broken-hearted, i, on the other hand love the feeling of being bitter. i get a kick out of making bitter comments, haha, but at the end of the day, i don't lose sleep over it. bitter-bitteran lang. ;p

so there. i had a lot to say. very cathartic. probably won't be the last, haha! i am just so loving my new found freedom. ;p to my former career, see you never. ;p

on His special day..

kuya jess, happy birthday!!!

pa-cheeseburger ka naman.. ;p

close day.

finally.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

what a stupid lamb. ;p

i had a hell-ish week and the only thing that made me go on was the thought that i'd get to watch twilight by the end of the week. true enough, i survived just fine. :)

***

i've already watched twilight three times. yeah, i'm pretty much addicted. prior to watching it, i've read all four books (thanks to rica :) ), i've seen 'pirated' scenes on youtube, and i've re-read twilight this past week. i've set no expectations for the movie so that i wouldn't get disappointed. the book is better, much much better than the movie. but, getting to see the book come to life isn't half bad either. i'm bordering on turning fangirl-ish and the only thing that's stopping me is that i think i'm too old for this sh*t. so what?! i only get to be twenty-five going on seventeen once. haha!

i have also been watching rob's (robert pattinson, that's right! we're tight likethis) interviews on youtube. for a while there, i couldn't get over the hair. man, i just wanted to brush his hair or something. and then i got over the hair. i can live with that. but i still can't get over him. i <3 you, rob. (call me ;p hahaha!!!)

D day + 1

looks like i'm in for a bumpy ride, but i know that the destination is so worth it. freedom, at last. i could almost taste it. ;p