naman!
2008 was a bittersweet year for me. i've had several heartbreaks, including dlsu's season 71 loss, seriously, and my job. but there's no better way to end the year than to walk away from the things i cannot change, and so i did. this new year, i'll start with a clean slate. i even got a new haircut, a different style for the first time in probably eight years. for free, thank you very much! i'd say that's a good start. ;p
yesterday was officially my last day at work. it was supposed to be a holiday, but i had to give in (for the last time..) to another one of the bank's sadistic mandates and reported for work. we operated on offline mode and since transactions posted were validated for jan 2, 2009 (which is again, a holiday.), i didn't log in because i wouldn't be employed by then. :) i answered the phone for the most part of the day, a thing i always did anyway. that is surely one thing i wouldn't miss, having to answer phone calls that weren't mine, and with the phone constantly ringing, it almost felt like the handset was glued to my ear on some days.
anyway.. my official last day was something i have been looking forward to for the whole month of december. it was definitely one of the best days, ever, only because i wouldn't have to go back there as an employee ever again. :) my officemates would joke around and ask me if it was already time to cry, and i'd say, "of course not!" imagine a co-worker telling you this: "alam mo kahit ganyan ka, mami-miss kita." i took it offensively, wtf was that supposed to mean? if it was a joke, it was better left unsaid. i replied, "ganun?" and then walked out. haha! it just wasn't worth it. i know that they will remember me when they cannot (or won't) do the simplest of things (i mean as simple as looking for a client's phone number, the signature cards are there also for that purpose, haller..). imagine, would you miss this? i definitely wouldn't.
i spent the latter half of the month telling clients i resigned. after that statement, i prepared to answer the follow up question, "bakit?" i found it very entertaining how people reacted when i told them i resigned. the automatic assumption was that i had found work elsewhere, probably at another bank. a runner up assumed reason for my resignation was that i was going abroad. when i say that i'm not transferring or going abroad, they'd think i was resigning because i was getting married. ha? i had to laugh everytime i got asked this because i'm thinking, aren't you supposed to work harder if you're getting married? i mean unless you're marrying somebody insanely rich, but then again, a woman can get married and keep her career right? what are we, living in the olden days? to that, again, i'd say no. the best follow up question i got was "bakit, may naka-away ka ba?" haha! showbiz much? i don't think i ever really gave a straight up reason for my resignation. artista lang, i've intentionally avoided having to explain my decision for like the nth time. i do not have a new job elsewhere, for the simple reason that i couldn't even show up for interviews because i couldn't take a leave from work. i am not going abroad, i couldn't even bear to be away from home for more than a week. definitely, i am not getting married (hahaha, very funny!) my resignation letter indicates my reason for resignation was because i had to attend to personal family matters. yes, we have been planning to put up a business for quite some time now but haven't gotten around to actually doing that, and i want to help. could i have helped my family while still keeping my job? why yes, of course! do i still want to be sane? hell yes. so i let go of the thing that has been very very toxic to my system, my work. what about it, you ask? the work, is bearable. work is work. there were days when i'd go home and just have a good cry to let out the stress, but there were also days when it was petiks mode: ON. i just got tired of it. at any workplace, there is a system. if everybody does his or her part, then things would get done. i got tired of waiting for people to do their part and having to pick up their slack. i got tired of being taken for granted (and i don't ask for much). i had enough of not being able to make my own judgement calls, which is really frustrating, because from experience, somebody else would overrule it. what were the guidelines for, display? also, it wasn't really helpful that for questionable transactions or procedures, i had to call up another person from another branch to confirm what i already know or tell me what to do. i should've asked a superior but for the most part, i'd rather not. i learned what i know now not only because somebody taught me the fundamentals but mainly because i taught myself. i had to ask other people how things get done. i had to know almost by heart the things i learned at my mti training, which is probably the only training ever worth attending. i am not being ungrateful to the people who have been my mentors, but for somebody else to take credit for what i have become at work is very unacceptable. the things you learn at work, for work, should've been taught to you by somebody from work. the kiss of death sealed the deal. i had suffered full blown job burn out.
i have been bitter about my work for the longest time and i realize that i'm now only bitter on the surface, if there ever was such a thing. some people may love pain, love the feeling of being broken-hearted, i, on the other hand love the feeling of being bitter. i get a kick out of making bitter comments, haha, but at the end of the day, i don't lose sleep over it. bitter-bitteran lang. ;p
so there. i had a lot to say. very cathartic. probably won't be the last, haha! i am just so loving my new found freedom. ;p to my former career, see you never. ;p
december's half way over. i haven't blogged much these past few weeks, i've been avoiding it really, cause then i'd have to edit out what i'd have to say. i rendered my resignation last november. i only have two weeks left at work, and i still have mixed emotions about it. artista lang.
i had my exit interview at our head office last friday. i had waited for this interview especially during the times when i was at my absolute lowest at work, when i was so frustrated. i've always thought i'd give them a piece of my mind, a large chunk at that. but, the previous evening, i was able to watch survivor philippines' final two face the jury. and i can describe the jury with just one word: bitter. or make that two: very bitter. it got me thinking about what i'd say during my interview. i don't want to sound like i'm bitter, i am already leaving anyway. i'm going to answer all questions honestly. i'm not going to rant on and on about how at some point i was bordering depression (that's what this blog is partially for) going to work. and so i got there, with my exit interview form in hand. i had waited longer than i was interviewed. the interview was really just for formality's sake and it played out really well.
so here it goes, i resigned. i've two weeks left (plus a day if they consider december 29 a working holiday..). i'll be cleaning out my workstation and be saying goodbye to my clients. though i have been contemplating the thought of resigning for a really long time, it still hasn't sunk in now that it has become a reality. i remember saying that this is my biggest regret. it just so happens that my resignation feels like the best decision i've ever made. i'll be jobless in a couple of weeks, it'll be frightening as hell, but i'd rather jump into the unknown than continue drowning in knee deep water i know i can get out of simply by standing up.
i had a hell-ish week and the only thing that made me go on was the thought that i'd get to watch twilight by the end of the week. true enough, i survived just fine. :)
***
i've already watched twilight three times. yeah, i'm pretty much addicted. prior to watching it, i've read all four books (thanks to rica :) ), i've seen 'pirated' scenes on youtube, and i've re-read twilight this past week. i've set no expectations for the movie so that i wouldn't get disappointed. the book is better, much much better than the movie. but, getting to see the book come to life isn't half bad either. i'm bordering on turning fangirl-ish and the only thing that's stopping me is that i think i'm too old for this sh*t. so what?! i only get to be twenty-five going on seventeen once. haha!
i have also been watching rob's (robert pattinson, that's right! we're tight likethis) interviews on youtube. for a while there, i couldn't get over the hair. man, i just wanted to brush his hair or something. and then i got over the hair. i can live with that. but i still can't get over him. i <3 you, rob. (call me ;p hahaha!!!)
looks like i'm in for a bumpy ride, but i know that the destination is so worth it. freedom, at last. i could almost taste it. ;p
just got back from watching chris brown and rihanna live at taguig and i've got two words: never again.
yeah, they were great performers but the venue being an open field was pure crap. crap crap crap. i've learned my lesson. for open field events, it's front row or nothing. i'd prefer watching from araneta colesium's GA. haha. ;p interval between the two acts took over an hour. an entire, freaking hour. crap.
and. big AND. simon atkins was there. seen on the wide screen several times. so near yet so far. it was like fate, tempting. ;p (yeah, i wish!)
i've just been given the kiss of death. yesterday. gahd. holy crap. i still know where my heart's at. at least. i really need to take my mind off it.
i need a margarita. ;p
i'll always be a disney kid at heart and HSM is my guilty pleasure. ;p love the song, love the choreography, and i must say i love zac efron. hahaha! all of my frustrations, captured in a movie scene. ftw!
peyton: make a wish and place it in your heart.. anything you want, everything you want..
lucas: do you have it? good. now believe it can come true. you never know where the next miracle is gonna come from, the next smile, the next wish come true.
peyton: but if you believe that it's right around the corner, and you open your heart and mind to possibility of it, to the certainty of it..
brooke: you just might get the thing you're wishing for.
nathan: the world is full of magic. you just have to believe in it. so make your wish. do you have it?
haley: good. now believe in it, with all your heart.
from one tree hill's echoes, silence, patience and grace episode. watching this scene hit me. big time.
is this gonna stop me from going out? i don't think so. haha! what flood? to fish & co i go err.. went.. haha! nice seeing you, beters! ;p
In DLSU's first game of the season, the Archers were slapped with a technical foul even before the game began. The reason? The coaching staff did not wear their IDs.
In DLSU's last game of the season, Rico Maierhofer was slapped with a technical foul. The reason? For giving a dirty finger. Then he got ejected. That was the end for me.
I suddenly remembered my earlier entry about excessive complaining. With season 71 over, I might just give the ball to my referees and tell them, 'you win.'
**buzzer**
It is now my fourth quarter.
UAAP men’s basketball season 71 ended today, 62-51 in favor of the Ateneo Blue Eagles. Yeah, it was another heart breaking game, but thanks to NABRO, it doesn’t hurt so much. I can’t find the right word but i guess frustrating will have to do.
Ateneo deserved to win. It really did. Most of the special awards were given to their team. They had great players. They won all but one of their games this season. So season 71 belongs to Ateneo. Congratulations. See you season 72.
So where does my frustration begin? With all the calls NABRO made. And that no taunting rule. It was really screwed up. Bitterness much? Yeah, I know.
La Salle deserved to fight. Like hell. And they did as much as they were allowed to. FTW.
DLSU Green Archers ended season 71 at second place. I am very much proud of them. I feel sad too, especially for JV who played his heart out. He even had his game face on during the Mythical Five awarding. Thank you, King Archer JV, for playing all heart and keeping the animo alive.
On a personal note, I still can’t get over the fact that season 71 is over. O-V-E-R. It was more than just basketball to me. In my QLC mode: ON phase, thank you Archers for giving me my happy place. I can't wait for season 72.
ANIMO LA SALLE!! >>--->
if NABRO referees wanted to play basketball, they should've formed their own team and not actually joined one.
ANIMO LA SALLE!!
my computer clock says it's now 1:05 a.m.
and i'm still online.
and i have work tomorrow later.
can you really sleep with a broken heart?
1:07 a.m.
can i be bitter? haha. i can't stop thinking about the finals game one. dammit we lost. gah.
game 2 is on thursday. though i am bleeding green, i am keeping the faith. i want dlsu to win this.. for jv because this is his last year, for rico and his acrobatics on the floor, for simon, period. haha. for simon's whiplash earlier this season. for coach jack surviving taking over two games. i just want them to win it.
truth be told, i don't want this season to end. not yet. keep the faith, animo la salle! play like there's no tomorrow..
it will all begin in less than 24 hours, game 1 of the uaap season 71 finals, dream finals at that, the de la salle university green archers vs the ateneo de manila university blue eagles. i say, game on! animo la salle! for the win!
sky cable cut off our connection, again. so i was relying on text messages to keep me posted about the dlsu vs feu game. dlsu won so we're in the finals!!
by some sort of miracle, we had our cable connection and i was able to watch the admu vs ue game, or rather parts of it. it was murder. admu won by more or less 20 points.
so sunday, september 21 is an extremely heavenly day for scalpers. i'm sure ticket prices are sky high. like i said.. ateneo, see you in the finals. keep the faith, ANIMO LA SALLE!!
