see you never. ;p

yesterday was officially my last day at work. it was supposed to be a holiday, but i had to give in (for the last time..) to another one of the bank's sadistic mandates and reported for work. we operated on offline mode and since transactions posted were validated for jan 2, 2009 (which is again, a holiday.), i didn't log in because i wouldn't be employed by then. :) i answered the phone for the most part of the day, a thing i always did anyway. that is surely one thing i wouldn't miss, having to answer phone calls that weren't mine, and with the phone constantly ringing, it almost felt like the handset was glued to my ear on some days.

anyway.. my official last day was something i have been looking forward to for the whole month of december. it was definitely one of the best days, ever, only because i wouldn't have to go back there as an employee ever again. :) my officemates would joke around and ask me if it was already time to cry, and i'd say, "of course not!" imagine a co-worker telling you this: "alam mo kahit ganyan ka, mami-miss kita." i took it offensively, wtf was that supposed to mean? if it was a joke, it was better left unsaid. i replied, "ganun?" and then walked out. haha! it just wasn't worth it. i know that they will remember me when they cannot (or won't) do the simplest of things (i mean as simple as looking for a client's phone number, the signature cards are there also for that purpose, haller..). imagine, would you miss this? i definitely wouldn't.



i spent the latter half of the month telling clients i resigned. after that statement, i prepared to answer the follow up question, "bakit?" i found it very entertaining how people reacted when i told them i resigned. the automatic assumption was that i had found work elsewhere, probably at another bank. a runner up assumed reason for my resignation was that i was going abroad. when i say that i'm not transferring or going abroad, they'd think i was resigning because i was getting married. ha? i had to laugh everytime i got asked this because i'm thinking, aren't you supposed to work harder if you're getting married? i mean unless you're marrying somebody insanely rich, but then again, a woman can get married and keep her career right? what are we, living in the olden days? to that, again, i'd say no. the best follow up question i got was "bakit, may naka-away ka ba?" haha! showbiz much? i don't think i ever really gave a straight up reason for my resignation. artista lang, i've intentionally avoided having to explain my decision for like the nth time. i do not have a new job elsewhere, for the simple reason that i couldn't even show up for interviews because i couldn't take a leave from work. i am not going abroad, i couldn't even bear to be away from home for more than a week. definitely, i am not getting married (hahaha, very funny!) my resignation letter indicates my reason for resignation was because i had to attend to personal family matters. yes, we have been planning to put up a business for quite some time now but haven't gotten around to actually doing that, and i want to help. could i have helped my family while still keeping my job? why yes, of course! do i still want to be sane? hell yes. so i let go of the thing that has been very very toxic to my system, my work. what about it, you ask? the work, is bearable. work is work. there were days when i'd go home and just have a good cry to let out the stress, but there were also days when it was petiks mode: ON. i just got tired of it. at any workplace, there is a system. if everybody does his or her part, then things would get done. i got tired of waiting for people to do their part and having to pick up their slack. i got tired of being taken for granted (and i don't ask for much). i had enough of not being able to make my own judgement calls, which is really frustrating, because from experience, somebody else would overrule it. what were the guidelines for, display? also, it wasn't really helpful that for questionable transactions or procedures, i had to call up another person from another branch to confirm what i already know or tell me what to do. i should've asked a superior but for the most part, i'd rather not. i learned what i know now not only because somebody taught me the fundamentals but mainly because i taught myself. i had to ask other people how things get done. i had to know almost by heart the things i learned at my mti training, which is probably the only training ever worth attending. i am not being ungrateful to the people who have been my mentors, but for somebody else to take credit for what i have become at work is very unacceptable. the things you learn at work, for work, should've been taught to you by somebody from work. the kiss of death sealed the deal. i had suffered full blown job burn out.

i have been bitter about my work for the longest time and i realize that i'm now only bitter on the surface, if there ever was such a thing. some people may love pain, love the feeling of being broken-hearted, i, on the other hand love the feeling of being bitter. i get a kick out of making bitter comments, haha, but at the end of the day, i don't lose sleep over it. bitter-bitteran lang. ;p

so there. i had a lot to say. very cathartic. probably won't be the last, haha! i am just so loving my new found freedom. ;p to my former career, see you never. ;p